I am trying to take the advice of several friends to eat more food, most especially protein. I have lost some weight in the last few weeks, and while the weight loss is not great – it certainly will not help in my quest wish to be and appear more muscular. My cousin’s boyfriend will be directing my weight training tomorrow and dieting plan. He is quite knowledgeable about body building (amateur level) and I want to at least get his perspective.

Things are going okay. I am busy with research and work but find it pleasing. I am trying to stay in the dating game by being active on the dating websites (match, yahoo personals etc.). I am not finding anyone truly interesting or interested in me, but it is better than remaining socially isolated.

I had the opportunity to attend a friend’s pool party this weekend, but there were all women, and I just don’t want to put up with them again. I love them, but I rather be alone than have to be reminded that most of my friends consist of women and not some men. Of course, I feel blessed to have friends, but it becomes lonely being the only man in the bunch.

I am trying to get more comfortable with my body by walking around the apartment in as little clothes as possible. It does help . . . until I catch a reflection of myself – then I become more critical. I need to let go of negative images of myself and appreciate the body that I presently have. There are times when I am okay with it – and somewhat comfortable, but it passes so quickly to another haphazard emotional moment.

speak to you soon, MBI